Like A Boss

Like a boss! Finally my family recognizes that I'm a grown ass man!

I've been trying to tell them that forever, but they weren't recognizing! Just because I'm small to them doesn't make me a Puppy!

My birthday was February 24th.  I'm two now.  Yeah, baby! Grown man...

But that's not what makes me like a boss.  Finally they are letting me go outside BY MYSELF!

Yup! 

Well, the snow is everywhere, and I hate hate hate it.  I'm kinda low to the ground, so to speak, and I tend to get really wet and cold.

So my family has cleared an area in the backyard, for me to go outside.  I can go out, walk down the porch steps and wander leisurely along a short path to "take care of things".  ALONE!!! 

I mean there's snow at the end of the path and piled high along the sides, so it's not like I'd go off the path anyway. And would it hurt them to make a longer path or one that goes to a different part of the yard?? But I do enjoy the fact that there's some sort of warm air coming from the side of the house sometimes.  It smells like warm clean clothes.  

Oh, yeah, let me tell you what else happened recently.  My best person, the one that shouldn't turn against me, took me into the "bathroom", which I found exciting.  But then she put me in the "tub" and poured warm water all over me and shampooed my good smells right off.  I was so upset. 

Afterwards, she wrapped me in warm towels, which was nice...then she used the blow dryer on me.

I did enjoy the blow dryer.  So warm! But I like that even when I haven't had a bath and I'm already dry.  So this "bath" didn't benefit me in ANY way.  As a matter of fact, while she was bathing me, she also washed my hoodie and all the good smell is gone from it too!!

After a bath, I usually go outside and roll in the grass to rub the wrong smells off and get some good smells back on me, but that stupid snow is everywhere,  Somehow in all the trauma of the bathing I forgot about the snow, and ran to the door asking to go out.  So she let me out.  But I only had my "business" path to walk on and even though they cleared it for me, it still had snow.  I had no where to go!  

It's been days, and I still smell like shampoo!!  The indignity of it...  

But like a boss, I am going outside, by myself, to take care of business.

That's just how I roll!

This is me.  My name is Levi. I'm a Yorkie.

This is my Blog.  Levi's Life.

I do alot.  I'm a guard dog.  I'm a companion.  I'm a navigator when we go for walks.  I'm a fitness instructor.  I'm the official food taster (although no one in the family takes this job very seriously).  I'm an alarm clock (you wouldn't believe how lazy these people can be),  And did I mention guard dog?  Yeah, I guard against all kinds of intruders.  Mailmen, deliverymen, family that drops by unannounced, chipmunks, squirrels, you name it, I will bark at it.

I will be 2 years old next month.  I share the same birthday with one of the people I live with.  Pretty cool, huh?  Anyway, I have been with this family almost my whole life, since I was a little puppy.

I am bored.  There is white, cold on the ground (snow) and I hate it.  I can't walk through it because I am kinda low to the ground.  My family layers me up to go outside, but my feet and legs still get cold and wet.  Ick and yuck and ouch!

 Last week, I went to the doctor because sometimes I hurt and I make a noise when it happens.  I tried to hide that I was hurting, even from the doctor.  But the doctor does this thing, where she moves all of your body parts around until the one that hurts, really really hurts and you can't hide it anymore.  They found out my secret.  My left knee slides around sometimes, in ways that it shouldn't.

Now nobody will play with me.  I'm so bored!  And my best person keeps shoving things in my mouth.  At first, I was happy because I was getting cheese three times a day, then I caught on that they were tricking me! So she started just shoving these hard bites way back in my mouth where I can't spit them out.

Her hand does not taste good.  I had to lick the floor to get the taste out of my mouth!
Its all very traumatizing.  Weird things in my mouth, I'm sleepy all the time and nobody will play with me...

And I love to play.  I can tear up a squeaker toy in about 20 minutes.  It seems to upset my family though.  Isn't that what they are made for?  The object of the game is to get the squeaker out as quickly as possible, right?  It's ok, because my best person just fixes them anyway, at least she tries.  I tear them up again right away!

I got an elf toy for the Christmas season.  He didn't last long.  I like to throw them and chase them and shake them and then tear them apart! Unfortunately, the elf could not be saved.

I guess that's all for now.  I'm gonna go sit on the back of the couch and watch out the window for any suspicious folks trying to invade my territory!